How to Have a Threesome with Your Ex-Boyfriend in 20 Minutes or Less

🔥 For paid subs 🔥

Photo by Fusco Studio on Unsplash

Start by dating Craig for almost two years.

Never during that time will he tell you that the thing that turns him on more than anything else is the idea of you with another man.

Have one year of sex that is generally fun but feels sort of detached—as if his childhood in an Evangelical church still haunts him into an embarrassed experience of pleasure that he must hold at bay. Have six months of sporadic, obligated sex, punctuated by one weekend of frenzied passion after two weeks apart for Christmas. Shave your pubic hair at his request and then regret it. Decide to break up, yet keep living together and sleep in the same bed without fucking for another six months.

Move out, move away.

Keep texting.

He’s lonely and so are you. You’re on a road trip across the country, and he likes seeing your pictures of desolate roadsides and the cat balancing on the piles of clothes in the backseat. You like having someone to share these moments with, even if he is your ex boyfriend. Texts about scenery blurs into texts about what you’re wearing and how horny you both are.