In October for Halloween, I created a post on LinkedIn called “The Start of My First Book (And a Scary Ask).”
In the post, I said publicly that I’m writing a book, and I included, with shaky fingers, the first 1000 words. I asked for connections to publishers and/or a literary agent.
I felt embarrassed because asking for people to help me be a successful artist is really hard. I have a deep belief that if I’m meant to be successful, somehow a magic spotlight will pick me out of the crowd and lift me up simply based on the ideas in my head— not on anything tangible.
But I know that’s actually bullshit. The only way we get what we want is by asking: asking ourselves for courage, our networks for support, and the universe to conspire.
I was also scared to post part of a book that was really more of an idea than a fully formed concept. Those first 1000 words just a stab at something, which, since then has become more material, sharper. I chose imperfection and messiness to at least show materiality: it’s more than just an idea in my head.
I did not get an agent or a publisher from that LinkedIn post. But, somehow, the terrifying act of speaking aloud—“I am doing this thing and I need help”—kickstarted something.
Our personal beliefs shape our reality. I just started to believe, “I am writing this book and I don’t have to do this alone.”
At the end of November, a friend of mine and brilliant author, Lenny Duncan (they/them), reached out. “You’re really writing this thing?” they asked. I said yes.
“You should meet my agent,” Lenny said.
And Lenny connected me with their agent, David Morris.
David asked me to start working on a book proposal and then we’d talk. He sent me a template.
I spent all of December creating a 50-page proposal. I imagined how to make the book a reality from every angle. Grounding our dreams into a plan is hard and necessary and leads to people taking you seriously.
David took me seriously and started shopping around the proposal.
We got 20ish rejections. But they were generally encouraging; Mostly that I just wasn’t famous enough to write a memoir, even its it’s about a fascinating and necessary topic (anxiety, loneliness, and the rise of sacred sexuality).
And then, when I was starting to think maybe it’s just not the right time, I should put my energy elsewhere, an offer came in.
I’m very excited to announce that, as of yesterday, I officially have a deal to publish my debut book, “F*cking Together” with Cleis Press, a subsidiary of Simon & Schuster.
Declaring my desires and intentions was the first step. And yes, that is hard as hell because what if you don’t get what you want and somehow then the whole world knows you asked and didn’t receive??
If that happens, trust that it’s not meant for you now. But more likely, you will ask and doors will open.
So… what bold thing do you most want? Declare it in the comments!
Oh my gosh I am SO excited to hear this. Congratulations!!!!! FUCK YEAH YOU GOT A BOOK DEAL.
Thanks for the invite to share. I want to create (and am currently co-creating) a sci fi series audio drama called the Divide - about a future America divided into two different islands - one a nature-integrated utopia, and one a series of independent nations at different levels of consciousness. And I want it to be embraced and supported.